Trouble in Here

A nightmare so real I can feel the sweat on my brow, my heart is racing, and I'm scared to make a single move. I wonder if I'm really dreaming at all, or if I'm awake and this is just how I'm coping.

It hits me like a snowstorm in July. The conditions have to be ripe; but there were no signs. Nothing to prepare me, to get me to bunker down. At the smack of pavement I'm jolted; my first indication that I've even been falling...plummeting.

I don't know how this happens. How the degree shifts so massively in such a short amount of time. Each day begins with the pleasantries I crave...and then--pavement.

I'm anxious; I'm unhappy; I'm frustrated; I'm sad; I'm angry; I'm reflective; I'm melancholy. I'm crumbling into nothing.

I'm tired of these bad days. I'm tired of the changes. I'm worn out. I'm exhausted. I don't know how to keep the good days from warding off the bad. Because they hit me too fast, too much pressure and then I'm gone. I'm done.