I'm looking forward to a nice glass of red wine, a hot bath and a good movie. Thank God it's Friday! In the last four hours I've won countless games of freecell and spider solitare; which I'm refusing to look at as some sort of metaphor for my life. This week has been a nice little balance of give and take. Mostly give. Some take squeezed in there, for good measure.
It all started a rainy seven days ago, with a preweek wedding planning session in central washington. Up until go time I still wasn't sure if I would be a go, but when it came right down to it I couldn't miss even a moment of planning on my sister's wedding. As much as I want to be able to wash my hands of the whole thing, I know deep down that I'm incapable of taking such drastic measures. She's getting married, and I've got to be there, cynicism aside. The weekend was a hit I suppose, for the summer will bring much in the way of weddings.
The trek over also reminded me how much I love love LOVE when the Fab4 get together-- although it was really more of a Fab 8 when adding the mothers of each duet and oh yeah, babies 1 and 2 at their respecful phases of development. I'm so excited to meet my new little baby cousins as soon as they decide to be born.
And then there's me. I'm working my ass off in an environment that is proving to be more of a challenge than I'd originally anticipated. It's not that I don't think I can do the work--it's that I know I can--and then some. I can do it in my sleep. I can get it done quickly, efficiently, and make it look like child's play. That makes me sound, in the least, bitchy, arrogant and self-centered. It's not that exactly...I mean, I've got a little bit of that, just for good measure. I choose to see it as self awareness, confidence to the supreme power.
My favorite people in the world have these huge things going on. Weddings to be planned, futures to begin, babies to be born, new families to develop. I'm choosing to thrown myself into work. I guess that's a more productive than geting wasted which is what is old Heather would do.
Because I am happy with my life and where I'm going.
Still, I just keep reminding myself that I don't need weddings or babies to be happy. I'm only 23 and I have time to do all that stuff later. I'm can be a successful adult without a spouse or kids or a picket fence completing the picture.
I don't have to turn into the crazy cat lady just yet!
Friday, April 27, 2007
Disconnect~
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Dunder Miflin, This is Pam~
When I'm feeling particularly bored I transport myself to a magical place...a place with entertaining coworkers, a place where practical jokes never die, a place where Michael Scott is my boss and an entire work day seems to pass in the span of only a half an hour!
Instead of looking across the vast space that is my desk and looking at Jim, I stare at the wall. What person put the only desks in this place facing away from the windows?!?! Yeah, I know--torture! It's not that I mind the tediousness of the job--the numbers, the phone calls, the faxes; quite the opposite in fact. I like the menial tasks, the ledgers, the columns, contact sheets and emails. It's a great change of pace from the kids and their boundless energy. What I love about this job is the tasks; rather the completion, no, the absolute annihilation of my to-do list. I'm crossing off things right and left and I LOVE IT!! There is no end when it comes to kids. There are always more diapers to change, more meals to plan, more laundry to fold.
I hate to say that I'd do this for the rest of my life, but the truth is I probably would. I don't mind not leaving my comfort zone--and hey, I have all these new skills without actually having to get a new job (what's not to love about this situation?!). I get paid to pretty much entertain my every whim...some days are spend soaking up the sun with the best kids on the planet, and some are spent interacting with as few real adults as possible. I'd be foolish to forget that as a child I was either playing house--in a variety of formats, ranging from Cabbage Patch Kids to Barbie dolls riding around in high heels--or I was playing office answering fake telephones and scribbling down appointments and lists for the Boss. My dreams weren't really about becoming a doctor or vet or anything those really ambitious kids wanted. (I mean, sure, I had dreams, my imaginary friend Kinno, her dad was a balloon salesman. I think that's pretty much reaching for the stars!)
I'm so far into this life of make-believe. I mean I'm playing dress up in these grown up clothes heading off to the office--for crying out loud I'm still playing Barbies (only this time I get paid to do it) I'm answering phones, scribbling down information for the boss...
I'm actually living the life I used to imagine.
Hey, have I found success??
Or am I just drunk with boredom and hopped up on caffeine??
Questions....answers left for another day cause hell yeah! it's 5 o'clock!! :)
