Boycotting Tom

I'm completely outraged. During my usually pleasant morning routine watching the Today show and downing my morning coffee I was interrupted by Tom Cruise pretending to be some kind of MD. The man needs to just take it down a fucking notch or two. I love America, and I love that he has a right to say whatever he wants...but give me a fucking break Tom...you're an ACTOR! And frankly, I like my Psychiatrist, and I like my dose of Wellbutrin, ya know. And who the fuck are you to tell me I'm a bad person for doing whatever I need so that it helps me and I'm better. Anyways...my ranting does nothing...it just shows that Tom needs to stick with lines someone else has written for him. Because, I love maverick...and I love jerry mcguire...but I'll pass on Tom from now on.

Al Roker: You Rock! Here is what Al thought of the Interview:

Hey gang, so did you see Matt's interview this morning with Tom Cruise? Okay, I congratulate people who are passionate about their beliefs, their faith and their love. What frightens me a little bit is when that passion tries to steam roll others. I don't want anyone coming after me for knocking Scientology — let's be up front about that. Someone's religion is their deal as long as you don't hurt me or my loved ones with your beliefs, I'm cool with yours.

But I think Tom oversteps the line when he starts taking on people who use certain drugs to deal with either depression, mental illness or other problems. Can there be abuses, troubles and misdiagnosis? You bet. But there is too much evidence that points to real help for certain people.

Is Brooke Shields better because certain drugs helped her post partum depression? You have to look to her and her family for that answer, but it is not Tom Cruise's place to take her to task for her choices. Did they hurt Tom? Did they somehow cause problems for him? Hey, I have relatives who were on Ritalin. A couple it helped, a few it didn't. You don't see me on some crusade, bashing people who did nothing to me.

Just as we should shut up about wondering if Tom's relationship with Katie Holmes is a publicity stunt, Tom oughta pipe down about people he doesn't know about situations he hasn't experienced. You're an actor, not a med student. But the best part about being American is that you can say whatever the heck you want in this country, as loopy and as goofy as it might sound.

So let the war of the words continue — that's what America is all about.

Twin Fin

SIDEWAYS
Jack: If they want to drink Merlot, we're drinking Merlot.
Miles Raymond: No, if anyone orders Merlot, I'm leaving. I am NOT drinking any fucking Merlot!

We're not drinking Merlot...yeah Miles, we went straight for the Pinot!! It was one of those rare moments that I find myself, I find meaning and passion, and strength...I am able to find everything that I want out of life. And now it hits me how this happens so many times when we get together. Being with my sister and my cousins gives us all freedom. We come together so unique and as such individuals, and yet once we're together it's as if no time has passed at all. There is something magical in the moments we spend together.

This weekend was beyond expectations. Even amidst the rain. We got to spend time with Gramma...play some board games, eat some food...And then a trip down memory lane making more memories for times we've yet to imagine. This is why I find myself at Priest. Because when it's raining it's beautiful, it's magnificent...it's four girls sharing a couple of bottles of Pinot, drinking straight from the bottle laughing and loving every moment we get to share together. I mean, what luck there would be two...TWO twist-off bottles of wine in Nordman ID!!! We can create such a strength together, such a bonds...and these are the things that make everything worth it!

Sisters Rock! 

Ledgewood~where my home really is! 

Geoff Mom Sarah & Me hanging at Priest. 

The Gregory Family around the campfire 

Gregory/Taylor/Boitano Girls @ Low's Resort 

G-R-E-G-O-R-Y

I was given the choice to stay in Spokompton a little longer, keep working, a move to Boise a month later...and it weighed on my mind. My doubts about moving are only because of the things I will be leaving behind. I'm not scared at the things that are waiting, because I'm sure they'll work out just fine. But I don't want to stay, I'm ready to move. I guess I'll be missing the days of going home to sit around a campfire roasting a variety of passable foods, checking out the view and gabbing. We Gregory's...besides all the shit of any family, and all the shit of ours specifically, we've got it all together. I guess it surprises me that in all this dysfunction we are able to have such mind-blowing, awesome love for one another that trandscends into this incredible way we are able to bond and have fun doing practically nothing. It could be the fact that we are from the "place to do absolutely nothing" which probably sparked our fire from way back in the day! I'll just be sad to go, although it's what I need to do. We're taking one last day...one last designated Gregory day...for some Gin Rummy, some BBQ, some laughs, basically some good times. Another era comes to a close, leaving us open for whatever happens to come our way.

movin up, movin out, movin on

Of course the past hits you smack in the face just when you're ready to move on. Just when the future is waiting for me...one leap...one giant step and I can get away from this and move on. Instead, the past...the past gets me before I can even pretend I'm over it. I guess this honesty thing I've developed hasn't reached all aspects of myself. As much as I knew this would happen, I had some fake belief, some blind trust that I could be all I needed right now. I mean, I thought I was over this self destructive pattern of giving myself up to be taken down. Because that's the pattern, and that's all there ever will be. But why would I even do this again...why would I let him come back after all this time? I always have...but this is different, this time I've been coming into my own. I know who I am and what I want. And still, still I fall into the same scene, even though I know how it will turn out. So what the fuck is the point? I mean, why did I even waste my time, why did I pretend to be this changed person...therapy, drugs, aa...and it all comes crashing down around me. I've been expecting it to--I guess that's my problem, even after all this, I still just go through the motions. And what for, what did it get me...something to think about, something to talk about, someone??? Maybe that's it. It was just him, and what...is he what I need...probably not. Want. That's it...he's what I want, for how long? I guess you get what you deserve. In reality...isn't this head trip what I deserve? I have to move. I'm running away, yes, I can admit it. I'm running hard and fast away from self destructing with him again.

~JET: Move On~
Well I been thinking 'bout the future
But I'm too young to pretend
It's such a waste to always look behind you
Should be lookin' straight ahead

Yeah gonna have to move on
Before we meet again
Yeah it's hard
If you had have only seen
Take control
Don't be afraid of me

'Cause every once in a while
You think about if your gonna get yourself together
You should be happy just to be alive
And just because you just don't feel like comin' home
Don't mean that you'll never arrive

Yeah I'm gonna have to move on
Before we meet again
Yeah it's hard
If you had have only seen
Take control
Don't be afraid of me

Ignorance is Bliss

Well shit, I've been to the real world and it sucks! When I made my very necessary decision to drop out of college I didn't quite think about all the reprecussions. I would love very much to go back to the brilliant world of student loans, class, and even...Whitworth life. Okay, yeah, I did take it one step too far, but I would love to be getting some student loans and going to class. Quitting, gets you nothing but bills. Fuck! And only slightly more knowledge than a mere three years ago, when I was just a high school graduate. And I've spent a lot of money since then. So this move to Boise offers good things...except job stability. And yes, I hate my job right now, so quitting was inevitable. I'm just not sure I completely thought through the cost of moving...paying rent twice in one month and only living in one...only to be faced with the same amount in a few short weeks. With the threat of a zero balance I'm left with the wonderful option of ding ding ding, Boise State University. Yep, I've applied. I need to hit the grind and actually start working. But, I also need to stay on insurance, and being a drop-out don't keep you with mommy and daddy. And those student loans that I thought were so abstract...yeah, well they'll be due soon...and the only way to stop it: more school! Fuck Fuck Fuck!!! Boy, I wish I weren't on the wagon...I guess that's why I'm on in the first place...to stop myself from drowning my sorrows in whiskey. And retail therapy...yeah, that's fucking out too! I guess I have to deal with this head on...suck it up, and start job hunting.

Oh Happy Day!!

It's the first time in a long time things have been crazy and hectic and absolutely perfect. Okay--perfection is a stretch but it's a beautiful mess...a beautiful crazyness. I'm finally....yes finally working again like I used to, which is a double-edged sword. I'm really happy to be making some money, rather than just spending it, and good timing too because I am running pretty low. It's not the ideal situation I asked for with my boss, she's still late, still no schedule, but at least the "punishment" of 4 hour days is over. I guess my gratitute for finally working covers my anger for still being taken advantage of. Hey, poverty will do that do you!
The apartment hunt is over...with yes, a house instead. Hallelujah! So even filling out the 5 page application makes me happy. Besides, I need the practice for when I actually move and have to find a job. ouch. Which leaves me with the huge feat of packing. Usually I just stand in the center of the room of choice wondering just how I got all that damn stuff in my apartment anyways, and inevitably I throw a lot away. Another ouch. So my goal this time is to pack smart...room by room, but I've already messed that up, packing dvd's first...stupid, and ending up unpacking things I need. Hopefully the deadline of 28 days will snap me into a packing frenzy!
And this week is passing quickly, I hope I can get it all done. Geoff's graduation is on saturday...yikes! my baby bro graduating from high school and entering the real world--am I ready for this? He is, so I guess I should follow his lead! That and birthdays, weddings, and tying up all the lose ends before we leave...let's hope the sunfire can keep up with all the dashing around~