A Thousand Words....

It's a major case of writer's block. I have all this information, all this material, but it somehow gets lost between my brain and my fingertips. It's making me crazy. My creative outlet has run dry and that leaves me bottling it up, and that leaves me...bottled up. Which is not the best way to be, I'm sure. It's the moment, these moments I feel at peace. I feel alive. I'm full of energy and yet I've got nothing to show for it. These intricate, delicate scenes are dancing around in my head and I don't know what I'm supposed to do with them. If they really mean anything at all. I'm caught somewhere between reality and make-believe and I don't know which way I want to run. But running in circles is just making me dizzy. A thousand words...that I can't get out of my head.

It's Friday...Payday...Whoohoo

Friday, payday, Lordy gotta get away
Had it with the wife thing, living on a shoe string
What's a poor girl got to do just to have some fun?
All these years without any help
Guess what, honey, clothes don't just wash themselves!
Neither do dishes, neither does the bathroom floor

So now if anyone asks, not that they would
I'll be down in Mssissippi and up to no good

No more, what a bore, had enough, I'm out the door
Headed for a breakdow, had it with the small town
Gonna call Lisa, gonna call Carla Sue
Now we're gonna let it roll
gonna let it rip
Gonna get us a nice room down on the strip
Not that we'll need it, there won't be any sleepin' tonight

So, now if anyone asks, not that they would
We'll be down in Mississippi and up to no good

Hammer down, here we go
Runnin' for the riverboat
All you're gonna see is asses and elbows
Luck's about to change for these three queens
Tired of gettin' jokers, deal us up kings

Snake eyes, roll the dice, double down, and hit me twice
Cashin' in the big chips, gonna leace a big tip
Hotter than a two dollar pistol, baby, I'm on fire

So, if anyone asks, not that they would
I'll be down in Mississippi and up to no go

If anyone asks, not that they would
I'll be down in Mississippi and up to no go
~Sugarland~

After the Fall from Innocence the Legend begins...

One Stab: Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy, but they become legends. I needed some new thinking music. A muse to really get me started on everything I've been putting off. Call it some kind of nagging, some kind of calling to get my butt in gear because it's something I need to do. Naturally I turned to Brad Pitt...okay, Legends of the Fall. And it's got me thinking. It's got me thinking beyond my normal boundaries. It helps get me fired up (and it's not just Brad). It's the bonds of the family. The Innocence. The Adventure. The passion. The Betrayal. The Hope. The Legend.

Hopeful

It's like the wind, a subtle change breezes in and everything shifts before I even know it. I've had an inner peace come into my entire being, into every aspect of my life. Everything has worked out. And it's nothing like the way I planned. But I'm living...and I realized it today--I'm just happy living. I'm really excited about these experiences I'm getting everyday. Naturally, I'm surprised because it wasn't anything I planned, or even thought I wanted. But now, I'm able to figure out what it is that I want. What I want to do, once I go back to progressing. And for now it's okay to drive fast with the windows down and the stereo up. It's okay, to try things and not have it be skydiving...to try things about everyday life that I've never done before. I'm excited to go to a cafe by myself...go out to eat by myself. I'm gaining an independence I've never been aware of before. I'm figuring out who I want to be without having previous expectations and limitations that I've clung to in the past.
For the first time in my life I'm not letting anybody tell me what I need to do. And it feels really fucking great! Because as much as I have always wanted to cling to the fact that I am my own person, I've still left too much of who I am up for a vote. And now, I'm in a new place, and I am starting on the right foot. Which has to be good, because without a foundation you've got nothing to build on, and I have built a little, but now I feel like I can really do some building, something with permanence.
It's been good...my faith is growing and I'm really learning how to depend on God, and let my actions be driven by serving Him. I'm working on the real reason for faith, and the real relationship that God requires us to have and it's bringing peace into my life. I've been missing this giant piece, and now it's been given to me. And I can face anything with the protection I get from that.

The Jackal

"He was fat back cat cool like a Friday afternoon martini, chillin' at a quarter after 5. Twist of lime, Coke on the side. The brother loved the high life. Had a Ph.D. in street stride. They called him 'The Jackal'."

So I come home after pulling a double shift to find out my sister has been watching The West Wing without me....bummer. And damn, if she isn't watching the first season (my favorite...okay, yeah, I do love them all :) And damn, if she isn't watching Six Meetings before Lunch. Jeez. What a life. I have to go slave away serving food to people who really aren't as happy as they should be for sitting and getting all their basic whims met, and I digress...yeah. Hmmm. But this is my favorite part of the song, which sister also managed to download whilest I was away. Oh...good times.

And tomorrow (a day off!) is the birthday celebration for Say-ah! Whoo Hoo! There's nothing I like quite as much as a celebration!!