(Mostly)Happy thoughts~

Well first of all my hands are so cold it's hard to get the motivation to type, although I'm hoping this might be some kind of work-out and pretty soon they'll be so toasty warm I'll have to go outside and play in the snow for a bit. Okay, really that's planB because planA: type with gloves on, doesn't seem to be working as I wore mittens today and that is freaking tricky! Also I'm so angry at myself for burning my tongue on my delicious clam chowder that I was obviously very excited to eat as I couldn't wait for it to cool down. So with the scalded tongue thing going on I'm finding it hard to drink my hot tea that is sitting right next to me, just getting colder by the second. Thought: Maybe God invented the burned tongue singed feeling so we'd learn a little patience the next time we're around a scalding liquid we're about to put into our mouth?

Today feels like a little vacation because the bosses are all out of town!! And the phone hasn't rung all day. Yes, actually it has once or twice so I know it's working but today nobody wants to talk to me, and hence I can put working on the back burner for a small bit! Yes, there's work to be done but moving the office again is not something I'm really looking forward to. Second time in as many months. Blah.

This snowfall has really thrown me into good tidings and great joy. I'm happy. Just sitting here right now, I'm at peace with myself, at peace with the world. The snow has this sparkling quality that's effervesced into my whole mentality or something. Perhaps the spirit of Christmas is upon me. :) It's nice to sit back and enjoy life, enjoy the little moments that make life so spectacular.

Life would be a little more spectacular if the Gonzaga game wasn't on ESPNU does anyone even have that channel? Oh and if the writers could get paid the money they're asking for and The Office could come back to me.

Okay....let's wrap this up and finish work for the day and go home:
Things I'm Happy About Right Now:
***Snow on the ground...not on the roads!
***The twinkle lights on my porch
***Peppermint mochas
***Linus & the true meaning of Christmas
***Dancing around my apartment in my pj's to chrismas music
***BBQ Chicken wrap that I saved from my lunch for my dinner
***The distinctive ring my sister chose for me on her cell phone is Love Shack.
***Starting a new book
***Knitting a new scarf
***Getting packages in the mail/having my Christmas shopping almost done
***Having the bills paid
***Coming home

Snow!

Sparkling Fresh Snow!!

Thanksgiving~Whoop Whoop!

The thanksgiving prep visual aide:


We started with fresh herbs, garlic and butter for the turkey rub. (Yeah, rub...crazy how overnight I became a chef.)


We were very proud of said rub as it made for a very tasty and moist turkey



And then our little guy in the oven...my how tasty you look...I wish we'd have captured the pictures of him dancing around before we rubbed him down as it turned out


Okay, so yeah, like D on presentation...but as the appetizer menu came very very last minute I'm okay with it. Besides it was very tasty. I <3 href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7T_f1j4xotoDJNjmTYnemhjp33LKCNy7r4sO42xI7DC1TD7-IjaFpAMBcA6vkjc7ZYX1catIPym-tZDIW8xCYVGuYolqvCV6nJ1fLuroiULHEME3Ho5u2gxGtpY31jxKG8MlO/s1600-h/Fall2007+056.jpg">







Yummy! Yummy! All 10 Thanksgiving dinner items cooked and ready to eat at the same time: specfuckintacular!!

Thanks! Giving!

I'm going to skip the ramblings about how much I love the holiday season and get right to the point. (BTW: I love Love LOVE the holidays!)

First of all today was a smashing success. My first holiday as hostess was beyond my own expectations. I've never fancied myself particularly strong in the culinary department, I can bake with the best of them, but cooking has never really been my forte. Those days are soooo over! I hate to be bragging about my own food but when "this is the best meal I've even eaten" gets bandied about a girl really starts to float on air. From the appetizers to the desserts the meal was incredible. (Menu and photos to follow.)

One of the reasons I love the holiday is the family time. I love me some family time. What started out as an orphan Thanksgiving quickly turned into a G-Fam extravaganza complete with a few rousing games of Loaded Questions thrown in for good measure. I started a new tradition this year one that I'm sure will be around for years to come. Instead of the cliche talking points for dinner with everyone listing all they're thankful for we anonymously wrote our responses down and stuck them in the centerpiece. During the dessert we read them. Tears were shed. Laughs and giggles followed. It's what I love about holidays. The security, the vulnerability, the moments to take the time to enjoy life, to take stock of our lives and be glad.

So.....Thanksgiving 2007....in a year that has been so freaking crammed full of life moments here's my list of what I'm thankful for, not just today, but all through the year:

1. My incredible family. Yes, all Fiasco 5 in all of our glory. I don't know who I'd be without them.
2. The new family members we've gained. With a wedding and two new babies this year we've certainly been blessed.
3. Snow tires. Already on my car in preperation for the week ahead and what's been predicted as much snow to put them to good use.
4. Sweet Pototoes. Ymmmm...Brown Sugar and Butter. Even better! :)
5. My job. And the paycheck that allows me to live the life I want to.
6. My apartment. My pretty apartment that is just what I want it to be....my home.
7. Diet Coke. And Coffee. Equally.
8. Today's dinner and the moments before and after.
9. Belle. Even though she is a very naughty kitten.
10. Christmas music.
11. Going to the 3-cities to see my sister!
12. Christmas shopping with my mamma and my sissy.
13. My health insurance.
14. The pumpkin caramel cheesecake that turned out fabulously both in the vision category and the taste competition!
15. My grandma. Lately I'm realizing how lucky I am to have her in my life.

Thanksgiving~

This makes me feel like a grown up. I thought I was a grown up when I started paying my own bills--when the student loans showed up, the car payment, the rent... I thought I was a grown up when I decided to move to another state, and then when I decided to move back. I thought I was a grown up after a honest conversation in which I'd been hurt, but managed to keep my cool, managed not to be mean just to be mean. I thought I was a grown up when I got this new fancy grown up job running this office...running this family. Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

Now I'm a grown up. I'm a real grown up hosting my very own Thanksgiving dinner!!! I am so excited. So. Excited. Yes, the true verdict will come on Thursday PM. After the meal has been served, after the dessert has been eaten, after the guests have been properly stuffed.

This was not my original idea. Since we'd (my folks and I) been abandoned by the rest of our family I took charge and planned a very nice, very low-key, very different turkey day. Small dinner and a play. Cool. Nontraditional. Because a traditional dinner for three can be a wee bit depressing. And then the aforementioned brother decided not to abandon us, decided to instead abandon us on Christmas, which I'm still a little mad about. So he and the someday-soon-eventually Mrs will also be joining us. (I cannot believe I just said that...the soon to be MRS. G...wow...I mean, I've known it could be true...it might be true...and I better start acting that way, start acting nicer and all that....nicer, I mean, I'm already nice, but it's weird. Okay, well that is a post for another time) From three to five. And then...the terrific news that my cousin and her beautiful baby son and her mamma were orphaned on the big day as well. They will be joining us for H's very first Thanksgiving!!! And five became eight. And then with so much family getting together why not invite Gramma F and Gramma A. And eight became ten!

It's time for the big guns. I am hosting Thanksgiving dinner for 10! Bring it on Betty Crocker! Never mind that I live in an apartment. Never mind my kitchen table only has two chairs! Never mind I'm not a huge fan of cooking...that has changed btw in the last few weeks and I've gotten very excited. Many recipes have been scoured over. Many groceries have been purchased. Many dust-bunnies have been vacuumed away. I am ready.

I'm attempting to make a pumpkin-caramel cheesecake because 1) does that not sound amazing!? and 2) I'm an above average baker, so I have faith in myself that my first ever cheesecake will turn out. (If not, the Gramma's have so graciously agreed to bring pie! I love pie) I'm really excited for the day spend cooking with my mom in my own house. I'm excited to share the day with my family. I'm excited to eat!

One more last minute stop at the grocery store. One more day of work. One last chance to clean house.

One last chance to fill my freezer full of deep dish pepperoni pizzas.

Wish List~

I know, I know...I'm the easiest person to shop for on the entire planet...I know I know...it's not even Thanksgiving. But it's still work for another half hour or so and I'm bored. So just in case you needed a few ideas... :)

~Keep It Hotter Longer! (Available @ Target.com) The travel mug bringing me a hot cup of joe well into the afternoon.

~These fabulous boots (also available @ Target size 10 please)

~The US Constitution Mug (so I can have my coffee, and my freedom)

~Must get off the Target website. Seriously.

~Just to make the collection complete :)

(www.wrapables.com)

Love/Hate

Love: The holidays.
Hate: Paying rent. It's just the biggest check I ever write and it always makes me a little sad.
Love: My apartment all full of cheer. It's how I cope with the fatty check each month.
Hate: All sounds associated with a car accident
Love: New Pajamas
Hate: Slow cars in the fast lane.
Love: Autumn...and getting to celebrate everything I'm thankful for, everything I'm blessed with.
Hate: Ketchup
Love: Finishing a great book
Hate: That Marie Osmond hasn't been kicked off DWTS yet. Seriously?!?!
Love: The sound of a child's laughter...especially those belly laughs that last long enough to forget anything that ever made you sad.
Hate: Emptying the dishwasher
Love: Coming home, pouring a glass of wine, lighting some candles, and knowing this is exactly where I need to be.

Fight or Flight~

Today was supposed to be my happy day. Today was supposed to be my day of good tidings and goodwill toward man. Today was the day I was going to buck traditional/rational/sequential thought and bust into my Christmas music. Yeah, I know it's not even Thanksgiving...but I don't care. I'm sick of playing by the rules. I'm fully prepared to become that crazy lady, and eff it, we might as well start today. You know what they say, those people who say things, "Get busy living as the crazy cat lady, or get busy dying as the crazy cat lady." I choose the former--I choose holiday music.

And then I got out of bed.

Right now, in this moment I want nothing more than to go home and crawl back into my bed, toss the covers over my head and sleep for an indeterminate amount of time. I want my happy day! Today was supposed to be my happy day! And now I feel like throwing a temper-tantrum, now I feel like screaming and crying; well I wish that's how I felt. Instead I just feel defeated. I feel crumpled up and defeated.

I'm so tired of being the friend who puts forth all the effort. I'm tired of being the friend who gets crapped on. When we perceive a significant threat to us, then we get ready either for a fight (to the death) or a desperate flight (from certain defeat.) In so many situations I'm a fighter...I'll stand up and fight for what I believe in, for who I believe in. But now I'm not so sure. Now I'm just tired of fighting. I'm tired of fighting this battle all on my own.

Because I will fight until it becomes clear that there is nothing left to fight for. I'll fight until it's clear nobody is fighting for me. And that makes me angry, because I am so worth fighting for. I'm worth standing up for, I'm worth protecting, I'm worth taking care of. But I'm not willing to settle. It took me too long to see how people treated me, how I let people treat me. I'm done with that. I deserve better than that. And I'm done fighting.

Carrie Underwood~Flat on the Floor

I'm flat on the floor

With my head down low

Where the sky can't rain on me anymore

Don't knock on my door cause I won't come

I'm hiding from the storm 'til the damage gets done

If I told you once, I told you a thousand times

You can't knock me off my feet, when I'm already on my knees