I reserve the right to refuse service to anyone

Since this is the season of giving...I'm giving some much needed advice I thought was funny...and yet sadly, so true. The restaurant biz is my life...and my life could greatly be improved with just a bit more awareness on the life of a server.

The next time you're out eating at a resturant, look at your server. Do you think they are really happy to be doing that job? The answer is no, they are not, but it's what we do, and we do it for the money so please help them out. Its a tougher job than you think and you should pay them accordingly!

There are SO many people out there flooding the restaurants w/o any knowledge of how to tip. Here is a short guide for the general public to follow. Feel free to print out and store in your wallet and/or purse.

1. CHILDREN "THE LITTLE DEVILS":
If you have children, DO NOT let them, open and dump anything on the table (ie; salt, sugar, etc). IF YOU DO, you must leave an extra $5 for the server to clean up YOUR CHILD'S mess & to restock the now unusable wasted items. We are neither their babysitter nor their parent. The least you can do is pay us for the extra work. Also make sure you control your kids and don't let them scream or run around the restraunt. It's very distracting not to mention dangerous if they get ran over by a server with hot food in their hands.

2. "THE CAMPERS":
If you feel the necessity to stay for longer than 15 minutes after you pay, its an extra $3 every 30 minutes. We make our money from the tables. If you are in one and we can't seat it, we don't make money.

3. COMPLIMENTS:
Telling a server they are the best server they've ever had is not a tip. If we are good, let us know by leaving us more money. We cant pay our bills on compliments. Its not that we don't appreciate the praise, its just that if you say that and then leave 10% it's an insult.

4. THE SALVATION PAMPHLETS:
Prayer cards and any other religious pamphlet is NOT a tip. It is insulting that you assume we are w/o religion and must save us. Again, like ..3, we cant pay bills w/prayer cards. We'd go to church on Sundays if it wasn't mandatory to work on Sundays because EVERYONE who goes to church follows it by eating out.

5. TIPPING:
It is not 1960. Cost of living has gone up dramatically since then. 18% is the MINIMUM amount of what you should be tipping your servers. Just look at the tax line and multiply by 2-3, this gives you your minimum tip amount. Remember, our companies pay us minimum wage (MINIMUM WAGE FOR SERVERS IN IDAHO IS 3.25 Per hour...yeah, our tips are our wage!) And we are taxed on 10 percent of your meal automatically anyway. So if you dont leave a tip, WE END UP PAYING FOR YOUR MEAL!!

6. THE COMPLAINERS:
If you get a discount because of your food was prepared wrong or something, do not take it out of our tip. We didn't cook it. The cooks get paid hourly regardless if the food sucks. However, we only make what you give us.

7. THE LATE ONES:
If you come into the restraunt 10 mins before closing or any time near closing hurry up and order your food and get out. Closed means closed, not social hour. It is so rude to sit there and take your sweet ass time. We can't leave until you leave because we have to do sidework and clean the table you are sitting at. We don't want to stand there waiting for you for an extra hour just because you don't want to go home. We recommend 24 hour establishments such as Dennys if you wish to sit into the wee hours of the night.

8. THE TABLE HOGGERS:
If you only come in for coffee or a dessert, to do paper work, or to have a meeting, don't sit there taking up our booths for hours. We are not Starbucks or a hotel restraunt. If you want to sit for hours, go there or else you better leave a good tip for us and camping fee included.

9. THE GREET:
When we come up to the table to greet you and we ask how you are doing please let us know. We honestly want to know how you are doing. If you are in a bad mood we want to know that from the beginning. A confused stare or complete silence does not suffice as a reply to "How are you doing?". Also don't interrupt our greeting and say "I want coffee", "can we get some bread, or "what are the soups?"

10. THOSE DAMN CELL PHONES:
Don't ever talk on your cell phone in a restraunt. This is probably the rudest thing to do. If you must be on your cell, at least keep your voice down in respect for other customers. If you are on your cell phone when we walk up to greet your table we will walk away until you get off your phone. Just show some respect and give us your attention for a couple of minutes.

11. TAKE-AWAY OR TOGOS:
Always remember to tip the take-out order servers! They work just as hard as a server, and hardly ever get tips for it! WE DESERVE TO BE TIPPED TOO!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SERVERS READING THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please repost this so the word can get out, since so many people are uneducated about tips and our lives depend on this - atleast for now......

SIGNED, YOUR FELLOW RESTAURANT WORKERS

Tizzle- OOh, Oh, I have one too! As a former server myself I have to say that slooze is right on the money! I have one to add to this list.

12.LARGE PARTIES:
It's always fun to go out with your friends, sometimes as many as ten of them. If you do this on a friday night, expect to wait a while for a table if you don't have a reservation. Often times tables have to be pushed together to accomodate for seating and this requires both previous parties to leave before you can be sat. That means that one server has to have an empty table waiting for any length of time. When your party does get sat, understand that it you're not the only party in the restaurant and that it takes longer for a server to get ten drinks (plus ten waters) than it does to get three or four. So be patient. Also, when it comes to birthdays, we don't give a shit. There was one an hour before yours and there will be another an hour later. So don't expect us to think your party requires special attention. That's what your friends are for. Speaking of being friends at a birthday party, BRING CASH and BRING CHANGE!!! How old are you? Don't make the poor server split you check 5 ways. Get your shit together. The last thing a server wants to hear when they walk by a party is, "alright guys hold on, someone didn't put in, we're still short." That translated means, bad tip. Which brings up my next point, the tip. The same rules for small bills applies to big ones. Actually it should be more generous. For some reason customers seem to think, "Well, we spent plenty of money already on the food, so twenty should be enough." Maybe on a 100 dollar tab. Your server already sacrificed extra time and effort to serve your party, so show them the courtesy of giving them a good tip.

Sarah- This shit is so true. I have another one to add on-

13. DO NOT hit on your waitress/bartender. Its uncomfortable, creepy and unappreciated. and most of the time if you weird your server out they are not gonna want to come back to your table, which means you are not gonna get all the shit that you need/want. If you decide that you just can't control yourself and feel the need to make a pass at your server, this translates to at least an extra ten dollars in addition to the already standard 20%. There's nothing worse than a gross guy hitting on you and then leaving you a shitty tip. However, if your server is a guy, feel free to hit on him. they like it. its good for their ego. Most guys that work in restaurants are single anyways and always looking for fresh squirrel.

I have one small thing to add on - Nick

15. Please realize that you are not the only people we (your servers) are waiting on. We will do our best to make it feel that way, but we are doing our best to make 4 or 5 other tables feel that way too. So please keep that in mind. And before you complain that your drinks aren't being refilled fast enough or some other petty little thing... take a look around you and look to see what else your waiter is doing. If he/she is standing around doing nothing, then by all means, complain. But if they're running their asses off to make all of you people happy, maybe hold back on the petty whining.

And I'm adding this--Heather

16. Teenagers...yeah, we don't think you're funny, or cute, or the badass of your highschool. We think you are assholes who are trying to be funny and cute and the badass of your highschool. Leaving 2 pennies is insulting and if I wouldn't get fired I'd slap you. You're loud, obnoxious, and disrupt everyone around you. And I'm still tempted to hunt you down and slap you.