Reality Check~

"She preferred novels to real life." The Perfect Elizabeth by Libby Schmais

AMEN!

This whole real life thing is starting to wear on me. I've got all the reasons in the world to be a happy go-lucky mid-twenties gal, just doing my thing and living each day. Instead I'm focusing on all the reasons I can be irritated and annoyed. Fuck!

I have a good job. I have a good job. I have a good job. Maybe if I say it enough I will start to see the truth. Maybe I will remember all the reasons I loved my job and what it brought each day. Bottom line is I do have a really good gig; not without it's trials, but I'm pretty lucky. It seems as of late that I can only focus on the negative. The boundary of employee and friend is sometimes very obvious; the role of nanny and mother gets all tied up and connected. I don't want to be the mother. Sometimes I just want the mother to be the mother because I'm tired of doing it. Except that that would put me out of a job. By going on the field trips, baking the cookies and doing the laundry I'm keeping the paychecks coming. I do the tasks, but I don't have the control (it's no wonder they're called desperate housewives). I feel like I'm their bitch. Schedules, phone calls and job requirements just get tossed by the wayside.

I've got to get through it. Because this summer I'll love lounging by the pool and working on my tan. I won't mind mixing it up a little and working at the office for 20 hours a week. Hopefully my attitude will return to one of the positive passionate girl I used to be.

Because right now I'm just feeling bored. I'm feeling bored--what the hell, that's not even a real emotion! I'm not challenged. I'm choosing to just sit around and bitch about all the things that irritate me--which is quite a laundry list--instead of making it better. Because I could change the attitude and start counting my blessings.

I guess you gotta start somewhere...