Every Little Thing

Some real craziness...Whitworth, back in session. I'm starting what was supposed to be my senior year working as a waitress. It's weird thinking about school starting and not being there to bitch about being back in school. And yesturday when I realized my friends were going back to class and I was going back to work I got sad. I'm going to miss some of the amazing times I had at Whitworth...walking to class late with Em...trying to get anyone living on campus to hook us up with a place to crash, or buy us food, late night talks and bonding. I did have some great times there and it will never be the same again. Even now, most of my friends are gone, married and expecting...but still, part of me feels like I should be there too.
I'm glad I'm here right now. A part of me knows I couldn't handle being there right now...too much to prove. I guess that was always my biggest problem. I had way too much to prove to everyone along the way. It's scary, but also pretty fucking cool that I know myself enough now to know I'm doing so good, because I am not there. I can be off the damn prescription and I can feel stronger, but part of me being strong is staying away. And things here are getting me on track. I have a great time at work and there are some really great people there. I'm surprised at the people...I don't have to explain everything I do or why and they accept it. They accept a part of me I'm trying to become right now. Which is unique in it's own way and something I've never had.
And the next 9 months will go on. I had no idea one year ago this is where I would be. So I can't very well plan on what I will be doing next September. And for now, I'm okay. I'm alright with missing my friends and my old life and being disappointed that I couldn't finish school. Because I have more chances.