learn to swim before you drown

Today feels like the beginning. It's starting to make sense again. I can see a finish line but I'm really racing to the beginning. I can't wait to move. I can't wait to get a new apartment, live with my sister and get a new job. I feel like this is a place I really belong. I don't want to run away again, hoping this will fix everything because I know that can't happen. But I think I've seen what I need to do, and it will be hard, but that's life.
Yesturday my sister graduated. It was exciting. The rest of her life is waiting for her. But the rest of my life is waiting too. And I don't need a college diploma for that to happen. I don't need to be married or have kids or a dog or a great career. I have a great family, great friends, a growing faith and some deep happiness. It may be cheesy but a month ago I couldn't see that and be greatful. I didn't want to see that. I didn't want anything. And everyday I struggle to remember what it is that I want. But today it zapped me in the face. Sometimes you have to have the faith and belief. You have to learn to swim before you drown.