Mrs X (Part 2)~

It's exhausting, being the nanny, the friend, the employee.

After working 9 hours a day I want to go home...but the friend card is dealt, a glass of wine is poured and the next thing I know it's 10:30. The nanny thing is always there, I'm always helping with the kids, which I do love...just not when I'm doing the office thing. I can't be working in the office when I'm driving kids to school, or changing diapers, or any of the other things I manage to squeeze into my normal work day.

And now here we are. We've moved the office into the new house. When I start my work day they are just beginning their normal routines--breakfast, showers, brushing teeth. I'm immersed in their entire lives, there is no autonomy from them. I run their office. I take care of their kids. I pay their bills. They'd like me to move into the old house until it sells.

As much as I know about their life, as involved as I am, make no mistake, this is not a two-way street. They know as much as I let on. As much as I talk, and I'm a big talker, but we're talking grains of sand here...They know as much as they see. They think it is the same, thinking all the while every nuance is shared between us. Sometimes I just laugh, roll my eyes and laugh when Mrs. X talks about my life. As if she is the same to me as I am to her....as if my secrets are theirs as well. It is extremely hard, but I'm trying to keep my Independence.

When 5 o'clock rolls around I choose to go home. Because I like my home. And I've been immersed in their lives for nine hours and I've had enough for one day. Because they are not my comfort...it's not my wind down. It's still work. And I love my wind down. I love coming home. I love leaving them at the end of the day.