The Beginning & The End~

No words can describe the kind of day it's been today.

Bittersweet comes close.

Today, after much anticipation J.T. was born. At 1:06 pm a little 7 lb 10 oz bundle of joy decided it was about dang time to meet his family. I haven't seen any pictures yet, and we're still without details beyond the basics, but simply my heart is full for what the future holds. I cannot imagine my life without my cousins in it, and now, I can't imagine family gatherings without this little baby along for all the laughs, all the memories, all the years to come. Childbirth is a miracle I never quite get used to, regardless of how often I get to be a part of it. Babies are born everyday, but the magic never seems to dissipate. For me, the miracle never becomes commonplace. I'm always at a loss, always amazed at how affected I can be by the entire process.

And while waiting for the news of little baby B, I attended the funeral of another cousin.

A person I was never personally close with, but a family member nonetheless. A special part of a family that has its share of laughter and good times spread over the years. As time goes on this particular branch of the family tree becomes too distant to gather much anymore. But anyone can feel the love, the bond they hold. I was surrounded by Reids and I could feel it deep down in my soul.

I just sat through the entire service with this gut-wrenching ache knowing I could not function without my mother. I wouldn't be able to stand up, let alone speak about the amazing woman she is to me. I can't even imagine how a family goes on.

I know all about the circle of life (I have seen the Lion King after all). But actually living it out, experiencing it from both sides; I just felt empty--drained, mentally, emotionally, physically.

And yet, I still have this little fire inside of me. This little drive to live my life, to count my blessings and always, always appreciate the ones I love.