My Heart is Smiling

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Yesterday I walked back into the lives of two of the most important people I have ever known. Two beautiful little children, two smiling little faces that I've missed so much. Two little innocent lives so filled with wonder, so ready to take on each day, experiencing life with true joy, with true abandon.

I've been meaning to call Tiffany since I moved back to Spokane. To stop in and see her and the kids. To take just a few hours and spend some quality time. I had this feeling, this feeling yesterday, to pick up the phone, just call her already. That's exactly what I did. And it was more than a feeling. It was a little divine assistance, a little push in the right direction. Turns out she had to fire her old nanny. Turns out she was trying to track me down.

There are experiences in my life I will never forget. There are experiences I am forever remembering. With such vividness I can still hear the music that was playing, or the way the breeze felt on my skin, or the way my anger burned like fire within me. Full of emotion. Full of life.

The moment Jacquelyn saw me she came running into my lap, jumped up and put her arms around me. Put her face right next to my face and said "I missed you Heather."
And my heart just melted.

The decision was made. As soon as those kids were back in my life. I can't walk away. This is where I'm meant to be right now. Regardless of the money, or the commitment to RR, I won't walk away from these kids. That is where my commitment is. Not to some restaurant, not to any corporation, not to any manager.

My family is the most important thing on this planet to me. Being part of their family is a very close second. This is a real job. This is real love.

And I've been struggling with the job front. Staying at Red Robin has been a continuing battle for me. Such extreme highs and lows. Such extreme feelings, such horrible moments, not too many great ones, but a nice way to get the bills paid on time. I've been wrestling with the question of staying at a good paying place I hate or a lower paying job I love.

But again with that protection, the Good Shepard guarding His sheep. The safety and security I know my life is surrounded with. I'm in good hands.

Now simply, it's orchestrated and I'm back with two jobs I love. Two jobs I'm happy about, and excited to go to. I can balance the coffee-shop girl and the nanny-girl.